Author: Vesta Giles

50 Crazy Things in my 50th Year #35 – Cross Country Ski Lesson

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Me, Jody, Gerry, and Lisa (front) – all survived my first official ski lesson.

I have been skiing for a few years but I would never say I’m a good skier. Senior citizens regularly pass me and kick snow in my face when I’m skiing. They’re always very polite about it of course, but none the less, I see them shaking their heads sadly at me. It’s really quite pathetic!

A few years ago I was a bit more daring on skis but then I had a couple of epic falls and it’s like my body has a memory that associates going faster with crashing. When it fell we were night skiing and it was about -20C – way too cold. My glasses weren’t just fogged up, they were frozen and I couldn’t see. Since then I have become a very fearful skier when it comes to speed and my technique is pretty much self taught. I’d wanted to do lessons for a few years – to improve my skills and techniques, maybe speed up a little bit so seniors didn’t kick snow in my face any more. I also wanted to get better, and feel safer, doing hills (see crazy thing #28). Each year, though, the timing doesn’t work, etc. I didn’t make the effort. This year Jody and Gerry wanted to do it too. I figured a private lesson for the three of us would be as good as 4 lessons in a large group and way easier to schedule.

We enlisted the services of Lisa Pahelchuk – the outstanding instructor with the Overlander Ski Club. I had no idea how great this was going to be. The first thing she did was teach us about hills as we slowly made our way out to Hoss – one of the trails I do all the time. Almost the first thing we did was a slow gentle downhill. It’s one I almost always put my foot out of the track to use as a brake on. I was determined. A lot of the going downhill instruction focused on balance, centre of gravity, and body position. I was stiff as a board but I made it down the hill… already I had progress! We worked on glide as well – she took away our poles, made us ski with one ski at a time and we went back and forth on a tiny stretch of flat trail for quite awhile. It was super hard work but it was amazing. Then we tackled more hills – my biggest fear, and I concentrated on body position. Mentally and physically the whole lesson was very tiring. As we made our way along the trail and back to the day lodge we kept working on footing, glide, and balance and the entire lesson ended up taking two hours. It was amazing and I can’t believe I didn’t do it before. Jody and I agree we’re going to work on the stuff Lisa taught us and then take another lesson next year to keep improving.

Why was this crazy?

I’ve wanted to do it for years but never got around to joining a class. This time I said what I wanted and made it happen in a way that worked for me instead of trying to fit in with someone else’s schedule. In the past I let things like this stop me all the time. The whole time I was fighting the memory of falling when I started going fast. It’s a gradual process, letting go of a memory like that, which seems unfair since the memory itself was made in almost a single moment.

Would I do it again?

I would definitely put out the effort to get better at something, particularly if it is important to me.  Skiing is very important to me and I don’t want to be tense or scared when I’m doing it. I am definitely having more lessons. I think it’s a good thing to do in just about any endeavor.

 

50 Crazy Things in my 50th Year #34 – Snowshoe race

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20160131_101053 1Because this is the way I roll I got up early after being out at a passion party the night before and did a 5K (actually 4K… thank God!) snowshoe race. I’ve only been on snowshoes a few times but I enjoy it and find it relaxing. It works different muscles than my usual activities and I have a shorter stature which makes it pretty tiring, but I do love it. I’ve heard about the North Face Dirty Feet Snowshoe races before and, when in a crazy year, one must do these types of things.

Jody and I – photo by Dirty Feet Trail Races
Photo by Dirty Feet Trail Races
Monica, Krista, Trisha and Shawna – Photo by Dirty Feet Trail Races

The race was at Stake Lake and a bunch of friends and I were all going to do it. Originally we were going to do it in costume but we didn’t get that organized. Hopefully next year we can make that happen.

 

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Crazy things are always better when shared with friends!

The course was a lot more difficult than I expected it would be. The trails at Stake are pretty packed down so shorter snowshoes are fine. The shorter the snowshoe the better they are on packed snow and the worse they are on deep fluffy snow. I chose to wear mom’s snowshoes that are about 4” shorter than mine. After all, the trails are packed… right? Wrong! The course veered off the packed trails and into the deep, two feet in some places, untouched powder. The track was narrow and Jody and I found ourselves in the middle of a pack of about 20 women we didn’t know.

I don’t know one person who didn’t fall at least once on that course. I fell a bunch of times. I would put my foot down and it would slide sideways and down I would go. One woman behind me fell and I turned around to help her up. She was going uphill and her friend was holding her from behind. It was a major effort to get up again.

Lee and Matt, who work in the ticket booth for the ski club cheered us on when we got close to the parking lot – that was sweet. I had already brought them a thermos of coffee so they were probably celebrating how warm and dry they were while I was lamenting how cold and wet I was becoming.

The guys who came in the top three for the 10K race lapped us right near the finish line. One of them, we noticed, wasn’t wearing socks. My boots were drenched from getting so much snow in them when I fell. Trying to get over so they could pass was an obstacle course in itself. For Jody and I, I wouldn’t actually call this racing. It was more like a really fast walk. We were stuck in the middle of the group and the people behind us didn’t want to pass so we were stuck with this pace that was a bit quicker than I was comfortable with.

Snowshoe race – Jody had a pretty crazy year too!
Photo by Dirty Feet Snowshoe Races
Photo by Dirty Feet Snowshoe Races
at the finish! Photo by Dirty Feet Snowshoe Races

Towards the end I could smell hot apple cider from the finish area. I think that propelled me forward. When we got to the finish line we weren’t even last (I was shocked!) and they had the best banana bread ever. They also jelly beans. I don’t often eat them but when I do they are heaven! I had been worried about this being super competitive and me coming in last. I realized quickly that it wasn’t like that at all. Everyone was in a partying mood and Jody and I, and all of our friends, agreed that it was awesome. We had a great time.

Why was this crazy?

I was “racing” in a sport I was an extreme beginner at.

Would I do it again?

Oh yeah, next year I might do a couple of them. It was a tremendous workout and a lot of fun. It was a challenge to keep someone else’s pace for that long and still finish with a smile.

 

50 Crazy Things in my 50th Year #33 – go to a Passion Party

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Note: These are NOT the toys we’ll be talking about!

How to write this… let’s see. There is so much I can’t say about what happened that night! First off, a passion party is like a Tupperware party but for sex toys. They are almost always all women and lots of fun even if you don’t buy anything. While I’ve been invited to several of these events, I’m always working or occupied. Even with this one I had to leaver early because I had a snowshoe race early the next morning. The first time I was invited to one all my friends were at it while I was working at the Civic Election, sitting at a polling station in Savona with my big (big) boss. They were texting me with the fun that was happening. I was trying desperately not to look at my phone.

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This time, when the invitation came, it was from a really good friend. There would only be five of us plus the “Pure Romance Consultant”. The five us are really close friends and one of us, and it wasn’t even me, has some anxiety about unfamiliar social situations. We were MORE than happy to limit it to just us, where she felt safe, and I think that’s what made it so much fun. It’s also the reason I basically have no pictures and have had to grab from the internet – and even then I had to censor the memes!

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There are always ice breaker games at these things and usually alcohol and food. I wasn’t drinking because I had a long drive home. They were drinking, though. In fact, a particular bottle of champagne pretty much exploded, put a dent in a ceiling tile, and landed an arc of bubbles in the lap of an unsuspecting guest. The party had to be halted because we were laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe.

We had the party in the children’s play room at one of our houses. Obviously it wasn’t mine because I have no kids but I do have a stash of Lego. The reason was it was two floors below where her kids were sleeping so hopefully they wouldn’t hear us shouting and laughing, and exploding champagne bottles. No good, they still heard us. It was a bit odd talking about and checking out different kinds of sex toys while being surrounded by elaborate Lego creations.

 

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Still not the toys we were talking about!

During the ice breaker games if you correctly answered a particular type of trivia question (the kind designed to see if you’re paying attention), you would get a little tiny rubber penis or set of boobs. At the end, the person with the most won a prize. There was also a draw prize for a little gift at the end. Of course, I won that. But it was strawberry flavored and I can’t stand strawberry flavoring in anything so I gave it to another friend who loves strawberry flavoring and actually has the potential for a date. Everyone wins!

one! one question right!
I was up to six by the time the evening ended, but the winner had eight!

About the products:

The had some really nice moisturizers, bath products, and massage oils. These were the tame part of the party.

Then we started passing around different vibrators. Creative, if not particularly realistic designs. That’s all I’m saying.

Some really smart marketer gave one of the vibrators the name Phillip… I think this is brilliant. It gives the vibrator a persona. I think they should all be given guys names and personas.

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There were products for women and men. Some of the men’s products were eye opening, to say the least. There are some things that just never occurred to me before that night.

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Smelling – different products smell different on different people. Of course, we were curious so we all had to try a bit and then run around and smell each others wrists. They really did smell different. I’m pretty sure guys don’t do that when they get together.

All in all we had a huge amount of fun and we are still talking about it.

Why was this crazy?

Well right now I can’t buy a decent date… but apparently that makes me a prime candidate for some of their devices! Soooo not going there!

Would I do it again?

Sign me up! Apparently the next one is at the end of March. I’d offer to host one at our place but we can only fit about four people in our living room.

 

50 Crazy Things in my 50th Year #32 – Go rock climbing

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20160129_195222This is another thing that I have avoided because my brother is really good at it. He has been a rock climber for years, climbed mountains, and naturally gravitates to this kind of activity. I have next to no grip strength, never have, and I’m short and uncoordinated. I know my attitude toward this stopped me from having fun or joining other friends who enjoyed it so I knew it needed to be on this list.

I discovered that Jaydan Dick, Krista’s son (she was one of my Brides Maidens, ate bugs, etc. etc.). Jaydan is 14 and growing so fast we can almost see it happening. He’s currently 5’11 and built like a spider – long limbs and hardly any torso. I, on the other hand, am 5’4” and built more like a bumblebee – an improbable flyer. Jaydan had done it before and already knew he loved it. I was not so sure.

Jaydan – spider man!
apparently these are very important
I only dropped him twice

We made plans for Friday night, January 29th. This was after I had done my ice skating crazy thing in the afternoon – I was already kind of dead. Cliffside Climbing Gym is pretty much the only place in town to go and it’s excellent. It was packed with a birthday party and loads of university students but there was always lots of room to move around.

We took the little orientation session and then started on the easy walls – I would call them the bunny hill of climbing walls. When I called earlier they said runners would be OK for a first timer. I learned quickly that this wasn’t the case. Just save yourself some agony of you go and rent shoes there – it’s worth every penny of the $3.

Jaydan flew up and when it was my turn I crawled up slowly. Then I got to the top. Then I realized why I really hadn’t wanted to do this before. Just like with Trapeze School (or maybe not quite as dramatic), when you get to the top you have to let go and there is a brief moment where that sensation of falling appears. I practically threw up right there. That would have ended our night pretty quickly because Jaydan was right below me and you know I wouldn’t have missed that target.

We kept going up and down and I got better at letting go at the top. The nice thing about a climbing gym like that is you can go with someone who is much more advanced than you are. Each time you have to unhook everything to switch positions – one person climbing and one person at the bottom – so you can quickly go from a bunny wall (me) to a spider wall with overhangs (Jaydan).

Although my arms were absolutely dead at the end, I really enjoyed this and Jaydan and I had a lot of fun. We plan to keep going and now there are others who want to come with us so we can have some fun as a group. I may even get my own climbing shoes. I think when my brother reads that he’ll fall over in a dead faint. “Who is this person calling herself my sister?” Perhaps I should warn him ahead of time.

Why was this crazy?

Fear of falling. Fear of jumping. Fear of public humiliation. Fear of not immediately being good at something

Would I do it again?

Oh yeah! Gotta get me some shoes!

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50 Crazy Things in my 50th Year #31 – Go ice skating

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skating pic

Then….

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now…!

When I was a kid I used to take figure skating lessons and I was OK. I was never daring but I was a pretty good skater. The thing I hated, though, was falling on my knees. My knees are really sensitive and I still remember the shooting pain when I fell on them on hard ice. Band, swimming, and other activities took over and I just never skated anymore. This held me back a bit because people would invite me to go skating on a lake, or other events. I never had skates and I didn’t feel confident – my knees throbbed at the thought of it.

Finally, I realized I was missing out on a lot of fun with my friends by turning down any and all skating invitations. I knew I had to get back on the blades and I knew it would be a crazy thing.

One of my best friends, Michelle, is a single mom to an awesome 4-year-old who was taking skating lessons. The Logan Lake Recreation Centre had free skating for parents and tots on Friday afternoons. I’m off every other Friday. Most of the time there is just Michelle and her daughter there, occasionally someone else will show up. I knew this was the perfect opportunity because I could get my feet under me without a billion people running into me. And the public humiliation factor was non-existent.

 

skating – first time in 40 years and I didn’t fall

I went to consignor sports and got a pair of used hockey skates. I thought they would be more functional for general recreation skating. There are lots of things I didn’t know about hockey skates, even though my brother played for so many years. I never knew that hockey skates are sharpened in a curve so you actually rock back and forth. Figure skates are flat. I knew hockey skates didn’t have the pick – obviously, but I didn’t realize that my body, after all these years, would have such a strong memory of using the pick to stop, start, etc. Also, hockey skates don’t come up as high on the ankle as figure skates do. This meant they felt less secure and my ankles had to work a lot harder. Now my ankles were flopping from side to side and I was rocking on the blades from front to back. My shins got a workout! Hockey skate blades are also much shorter in length than figure skates – it’s a whole new motion. I was not expecting this!

4 year old camel specialist
up and down the boards I go
Michelle helping our other little friend

I started out going up and down the boards, trying to get my balance and get used to the sensations. Michelle’s daughter and the other little boy we had with us were under strict instructions not to go near me since I was still learning. She was whipping around with one of those cages for a while, and then without. Did you know they make those cages in adult sizes? I REFUSED to go there. I used the boards instead. Another thing I noticed is that my ankles are so used to being in cross country ski boots where they have a lot of movement. It was hard getting my head and body adjusted to the new sensations.

It took about 20 mins and I was feeling a lot more confident so I ventured away from the boards and across the centre of the ice. The 4-year-old was thrilled and was desperate to skate with me. “Miss Vesta, did you know I can do this?” – she does a camel with one leg stuck out behind her – still in the cage though so I don’t think it counted. “Miss Vesta, wanna see how fast I can go?”… No! and you’re still in the cage so it still doesn’t count! “Miss Vesta do you want to borrow this? You could have it!” She motions to the cage.. No!!!!!!

We don’t need those cages
skating selfie

Still vertical. Then I started doing laps and I knew I was getting my groove back and getting used to the skates. Next time I work on going backwards and employing stopping techniques that don’t involve running straight into the boards. I skated for a full 90 minutes and my hips and shins were dead.

Why was this crazy?

Fear of death, knee mutilation, and public humiliation. Duh!

Would I do it again?

Absolutely! I’m a skating fool now… but the kids still aren’t allowed to come near me.

50 Crazy Things in my 50th Year #30 – Climb a tree

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As I described before in the rock climbing blog (coming), I’m not really built for climbing things. So, the thing that kids just spontaneously do and I have avoided like the plague seemed crazy enough to qualify for my year. I would climb a tree. Even when I was a kid I didn’t really climb a lot of trees.

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Since I’m also a geocacher, I thought I might has well kill two crazy things with one climb. Sometimes geocaches can be found in trees. The degree of difficult for the geocache itself is relatively low – you can often see it easily. The terrain difficulty, however, is another thing. For those who are geocachers this cache was SITC#6: VV Abies. I think SITC means Stuck In Tree Cache. The terrain difficulty on this one was 4/5.

I put it out to some geocaching friends who have helped in some of my crazy things – the Conair plane crash hike, motorcycle riding, etc. John, Yvonne, and Tracy all leapt at the chance to do it with me… or at least laugh at me while I did it.

“Let’s go watch Vesta get uncomfortable” is now a popular pastime for many of my friends.

We knew there was a tree climb cache in Valleyview, one near the Safeway in Sahali, and another in some trees on the hill above Costco. The Valleyview one seemed to have the less public humiliation attached to it, and it was probably the most accessible. Crazy thing – here we come!

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John brought a stepladder, which we didn’t really need because the bottom branches of this lovely tree were fairly low. Still, I used it (crazy… not stupid!). Tracy warned me about the sap, which I hadn’t considered… ew! John went up first and blazed a trail so I could see a good route to go up. I went next. Once I got up there I had to figure out how to hold on to the tree while unscrewing the lid to the cache and signing the log inside. This I hadn’t considered! At least I remembered to bring a pen. I if I hadn’t I’d have had to go down and come back up again.

Going up was OK. It wasn’t great, but I made it. Coming down was another matter. You know that piece of advice “don’t look down!” – well how the hell are you supposed to come down the tree without looking down??? I finally made it and after a few minutes at the bottom I stopped shaking. When I was up at the top an elderly woman walked by wondering what they are all looking at. Was a cat trapped in the tree? Was there some other wildlife? Was there an interesting bird? No, it was a 49-year-old woman built like a bumble bee clinging desperately to a branch about half way up a tree. When Yvonne told her what I was doing she thought it was great.

oh yeah, I climbed a tree!

Why was this crazy?

Fear of falling, fear of public humiliation, lack of coordination or spider limbs… the usual!

Would I do it again?

As long as John brings the ladder!

 

50 Crazy Things in my 50th Year #29 – Take an art class

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20160118_203151My brother is the artist in our family, I am the writer. He is guitar, bass, and a host of other instruments he picks up and plays by ear and heart. I am clarinet and reading music and playing with heart and technique. I have done some painting but I generally avoid it because he’s so good at it.

When my friend Donna, who I work with, invited me to Paint Night on January 18th with some of our other coworkers she suggested it could be a bit crazy. I agreed. I grabbed Jody for moral support and we were off to Paint Night. I’m not sure Paint Night qualifies as an art class but it was a lot of fun and took some of the seriousness away from art.

Jody in her snazzy apron
me rocking the apron
my coworkers rocking their aprons
now what?
we got this!

Paint Night is an event style program held across Canada. It’s kind of Bob Ross with appies and drinks. Everyone goes to a pub or bar, paints the same painting (or a facsimile thereof), and has a lot of laughs. Surprisingly, even people who haven’t held a paint brush since they were five come out with some pretty awesome paintings and they all represent the style of the person doing the painting. It was quite remarkable.

Look! no pink!

I knew the painting we would be doing would be of pink cherry blossoms. Some of you may remember I have some issues with the colour pink so I suspected going in that I would end up rebelling and coming home with a painting that wasn’t pink. Oh yeah, it happened!

I sat next to a guy who had never been there but his wife, on the other side of him, obviously had. He was also the only guy there and it was packed with women.

We started with the sky. That seemed easy enough. I noticed I’m more slap happy when it comes to painting and Jody is very meticulous. I think that represents our personalities pretty accurately. Then we did the mountains and the long path coming down the mountain. Me slapping paint on and Jody carefully making perfect Japanese styled mountains. My painting pretty much doubled in weight by the time I brought it home.

The guy next to me was really funny. We all added the branches and body of the tree next. Mine was slapped on, Jody’s was perfect, and the guy next to me created a tree that looked a lot like Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy. I love Groot! We had lots of laughs about his Groot tree. By the end, when his was done, it looked Groot imitating Peter Frampton or Robert Plant – lots of pink and white rock n roll hair.

The last thing we added were the pink and white cherry blossoms. I was shocked at how good everyone’s paintings were. I was also amazed at how different they were. People like me, who weren’t too into the details, and people like Jody who worked hard on making theirs what they wanted, not necessarily exactly like the original – it wasn’t that kind of perfectionism, it was more that they had a vision and even if they’d never painted before their vision appeared in their paintings

Some women next to me were painting their landscape purple, they’d obviously been there before. I decided to make my flowers more grey and I love the result! My mom says we should hang my painting right next to an amazing watercolor my brother did a few years ago. I think it would drive him insane next time he visits…. Therefore it’s a good thing!

Why was it crazy?

Painting in public, being a beginner in something my brother excels in – all crazy!

Would I do it again?

Absolutely. I still want to take drawing and other painting classes, and we’re already trying to decide on the next paint night we’re going to – it’s like a party with paint!paint night

50 Crazy Things in my 50th Year #28 – Take control of hills

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Perhaps you’ve heard that I have a bit of a thing about going down hill, speed, being out of control, falling etc. It’s been a recurring theme for many of my crazy things. It was driving me nuts that I’m so paranoid about falling when I cross country ski that I automatically take my ski out of the track and turn it into a break at the merest sight of a downhill – whether the hill warrants it or not. I wanted this automatic response to stop.

A few years ago I was night skiing and I had some really bad falls. It was really icy, the temperature was ridiculously cold (in the -20C range) and my glasses didn’t just fog up, they froze so I couldn’t see anything. I fell hard and my body has this locked in memory that I can’t let go of.

My fear started getting worse. Senior citizens would kick snow in my face as they skied past me going down hill. I developed a killer snow plow. It got so bad a few years ago my friend Wendy wanted to take me up to Sun Peaks to the top of a black diamond cross country trail and push me down to desensitize me from the sensation of going fast. She assumed that by the time I stopped screaming I’d have this fear thing handled. I never let her ski behind me on a hill after that.

They day was January 17th. Jody and I were going for a short, happy ski in fresh snow. For most skiers the snow would have been annoying because it was slower. For us it was perfect!

We did a route of easy green trails for about 6Km. There are some nice rolling hills and I knew I had to put some effort into getting over this fear. I told Jody that for that day I had to keep my ski in the track on all hills. She laughed and agreed, and got out her phone to video it. I was determined.

As we did each hill I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My heart was in my throat and I was shaking by the time I got to the bottom. There were times when my foot just jumped out of the track by itself. When that happened I had to stop, go back up the hill and try again. Frequently, when it happened, I may have said some bad words… I know… if you know me you’re probably shocked! (but not really).

We did Ponderosa, Hoss, and Little Joe – all fun green trails near the day lodge at Stake Lake. On one particular hill on Hoss I had to start at the top three times before I finally made it.

The snow was fresh and slow, perfect conditions. I told Jody I had to do it and she was willing to stop while I battled my fears. My leg jumps out of the tracks to act as a break – it’s like an instinct I have a hard time stopping. It just shoots out the second I start to pick up speed.

So, with the Wendy Lehar desensitizing plan firmly locked in my head I vowed to do our entire route without sticking my foot out. It was really hard and when my foot shot out part way down a hill there may have been some F-bombs as I stopped, climbed the hill, and started again.Good thing Jody lost the video she took with all the f-bombs in it… no proof!

Eventually I made it through the route doing all the hills. I was exhausted! No pictures for this one but Jody is my witness – I did it!20160117_101910.jpg

Why was this crazy?

Oh, the usual, fear of falling, fear of going fast, fear of being out of control.

Would I do it again?

If the conditions are right I am trying to do it as much as I can – my own desensitization at my own pace.

 

50 Crazy Things in my 50th Year #27 – Eat a bug on purpose

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This started because I have bit of a reputation as a picky eater. When I was in first year college some friends and I used to watch comedy videos on Friday nights. This was in 1985 and we got to know comedians like Richard Pryor, Robin Williams, and one of my favorites – George Carlin. Carlin did one routine about Fussy Eaters. Among the many characteristics of fussy eaters Carlin mentioned in his routine were the fact that picky eaters won’t eat something if it SOUNDS disgusting, or if they can’t identify it, or the food sounds weird, or anything with a “y” and a “g” in it, or …. It goes on and it’s a really funny routine.

After we watched it I distinctly remember my friend Diane looking right at me and saying, “That’s what you’re like… you’re a picky eater!”

This was news to me.

Since then I have observed my fussy / picky eater qualities at work and I would almost agree. I reminded Diane of her comment a while ago and she has no recollection of it. She scarred me for life and she doesn’t even remember!

So, when the idea for my list came up Eating a Bug on Purpose was automatically on it. Bugs are a growing source of protein in many countries and they are becoming more popular in North America. Crickets are regularly ground into flour in many Indian restaurants and bugs show up on many other menus as well.

My friend Donna at work sent me a new book to the library system on cooking with insects. Ick. There is also a popular kids book called ‘How to Eat Fried Worms” – I have it out but I still haven’t read it.

Bug night

I had no idea how I was going to find food grade quality bugs to eat. This was my first problem. I’ve eaten lots of bugs in my day but none of them on purpose.

The first problem was solved by my friend Amanda when were at Universal Studios in Florida. She came across Salt n Vinegar Crickets and bought them as part of my birthday present. I was suitably horrified. I saved them for 10 months until I hosted Bug and Wine Night at my house. My friend Krista, who would have to eat a bug with me, told me that Sticky’s Candy had all kinds of bugs for sale too!

So, after a trip to Sticky’s I was set. I even brought out my finest dessert plates to serve them on.

Bug night

Our bug night was Friday, January 15th. Krista, Monica, and Jody were coming over and we were having real appies as well as the bugs. Krista and Monica agreed to try them with me and Jody and my mom were happily documenting the evening. What I wasn’t counting on was Monica bringing over live crickets that would have been fed to her pet frog. This was wayyyy out of my comfort zone! In a lovely act of Karma one of them got stuck in Monica’s throat… see video.

2016-01-16 02.40.48 from Vesta Giles on Vimeo.

In order to make this work I was chasing the bugs with Fireball, Monica had wine, and Krista had Sambuca and vitamin water.

The question is, how much fireball do you need to ingest to make you forget you’re eating bugs? Answer…. a lot!

We started with the live ones, which we mercifully drowned in alcohol. Since I hate pills or anything else small touching my tongue, I have perfected a technique for filling my mouth with liquid, tilting my head back, opening my mouth and then dropping the pill / bug in so it never actually touches my mouth. I may say that by the end of the night, with fireball as my coach, I was having my picture taken with the bugs on my tongue and I was chewing them after. This was while the room was spinning.

2016-01-16 02.48.40 from Vesta Giles on Vimeo.

RIP
Bottoms up!
And nearly back out again!
“Just a shot glass full of medicine helps the cricket go down…”
look at me all daring and stuff
Krista is trying to not get legs stuck in her braces
Monica is fearless
the room may have started spinning here, or possibly too much laughter

How were the bugs?

Despite being flavoured, none of them really had any flavour. They were very dry and not something I’d rush out to do again. I can see the value of the added protein in a flour, though. I would still have a hard time with fresher, squishy bugs, worms, or things bigger than a cricket. I may be crazy but I have my limits.

Why was this crazy?

Oh come on!

Would I do it again?

If someone bet me a large amount of money … sure!

Huge shout out to Krista, Monica, and even Jody for sharing this with me and for my mom and Jody who were both able to take pictures while simultaneously laughing to the point where they were crying. And a huge shout out to Amanda who found the first bugs for me!

50 Crazy Things in my 50th Year #26 – Give blood

/ Vesta Giles / Leave a comment

Years ago, when I lived in Vancouver, I used to give blood like clockwork. There it was easy – you could drive down to the Red Cross building on Oak St., and go whenever you wanted. Secretly I think I really went for the free Coke and cookies.

Suddenly, some time in the late 1990s, I had to stop going and it annoyed me. Thanks to the outbreaks of Mad Cow Disease (Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease) in Britain and Europe, anyone who had lived in Great Britain during a certain period of the 1980’s was prohibited from giving blood. Since I had lived in Dublin for 6 months in 1989, this included me. It didn’t matter that at the time I was a vegetarian. So my record was marked with a permanent deferral and my days of free Coke and cookies came crashing down.

Last summer I was at a birthday BBQ at Lac Le Jeune and I heard from a few friends, regular blood donors, that the restrictions had changed.

It’s not as easy to give blood in Kamloops as it was in Vancouver. They hold clinics on limited days, you need to book appointments, and it just seems a bit like work. I procrastinated for months and then finally organized myself to go with Monica Williams in January. I knew that the real reason I gave blood was not because of the treats at the end. Many people I know and love, and many family members, had all benefited from blood donors and I knew it was the easiest thing I could do to help someone.

Lessons in Geography

It turns out, my first foray into blood donation in over 20 years was a bit more challenging than I expected. The regulations prohibiting people who had lived in the British Isles had been slightly clarified, but not eliminated.

blood 1

When we went for our appointments Monica was behind me. I discovered my record still had the deferral. I had no idea how much effort it would take before they even stuck a needle in my arm!

To give blood in Canada you can’t have spent more than 3 months in Britain or France and more than 5 years in Western Europe between about 1986 and 1997. I lived in Dublin in 1989. In the past they were very vague about what was Britain around 2000 and there was some confusion… so because I was in the Republic of Ireland (aka British Isles) I had been prohibited. Now it’s been redefined and it’s Britain (aka NORTHERN IRELAND, England, Scotland, Wales and the Channel Islands). The Republic of Ireland is part of Western Europe. You can’t have spent more than 5 years in Western Europe or France. Therefore I could now give blood but it took some serious geography lessons to make it happen. I had form after form that had to be filled out, supervisors were involved, computer records had to be overridden.

In the time that I was in my interview (step 2 of the process), Monica went into the interview after me, came out of her interview, got hooked up to give blood, and had finished giving blood before I even came out of the interview! All the while she’s staring at me with a “What the hell is happening?” look.

They took my blood!

Then, once they finally got me hooked up at the end of the clinic, we discovered I am now a slow bleeder. I guess in the old days I guess I was more stressed and bled faster. Now it appears I’m a slow bleeder… will this madness ever end????? This is the price you pay for becoming more zen in your old age! I finally finished and discovered that they no longer give Coke and cookies – it’s juice and cookies. Thankfully there were still some cookies left or I would have been seriously annoyed!

Why was this crazy?

It’s so easy to do and yet it’s so easy to skip, avoid, or just not bother. I went through all the paperwork and geography nastiness and ended up with the privilege to give. I know a lot of people who traveled like I did after university and they still can’t give. I’m actually really lucky.

Would I do it again?

Absolutely. I won’t be able to give again until next January since I just got a tattoo (another prohibitive factor) and plan on getting a second tattoo on July 2nd. You have to wait 6 months after getting a tattoo before you can give blood. I will happily jump through the hoops to give, and I’m glad I get to hang out with Monica when I do it!